Sex and the Ivy - Latest Comments in Reminiscence

Re: Reminiscence

wendykrupp — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 15:09:39 -0000

yikes.

Re: Reminiscence

Hmm.... — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:39:27 -0000

Hi Lena - I hope you are still reading comments on very old posts ;)

I remember reading this blog way back when it started, and then I stopped following for a few years. I found it again recently, thinking "I wonder whatever happened to that Lena girl at Harvard?" (after reading some Elizabeth Wurtzel interviews and columns, go figure), since I used to enjoy reading the blog and frankly was kind of worried about how your life would develop due to being so public. I.e. "I hope she has steel balls and doesn't pay attention to -any- feedback, good or bad, and is doing it because she loved writing."

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case (as I feared), and something bad DID happen, and you let it get to you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have, but rather that it's (sadly) normal, and I'm saddened by how the blog ended up. In my opinion, what you should take away from this entire sex blog experience is NOT that you can't trust everyone, but rather that you need steel nerves and a willingness to expose yourself (and not care if a few people react negatively or betray you) if you want to be a writer - and especially a memoir/diary writer. You should -not- give up on any such goals you had, and you shouldn't end up sheltering yourself and not trusting most people either.

(Just letting you know, that in the bigger picture, you'll have more supporters than immature people bashing you, so chin up (however late this sentiment may be)).

Re: Reminiscence

Random — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 14:01:19 -0000

Hi Lena,

I have read a few of your blog posts since I heard about you through some negative (sorry) comments on some message board. From what I have read about you, it seems that you went through a horrible amount of abuse for some youthful indiscretion. I'm not really clear on whether you regret the whole experience or not, but of course you didn't deserve all this. Everyone makes mistakes and misjudgments at that age, but very few are attacked as viciously as you were, and I doubt many people would have the strength to keep going as long as you did.\

It's an interesting question why people would bother to anonymously harass and attack a stranger online. I don't have a good explanation for it, since I've never felt the impulse to do anything like that and I like to think I don't know people who would (though I'm probably wrong). And I think you're wrong about the conclusion you've reached about people's true nature. I remember a case at my school where some girl's revealing photos were passed around my college in a similar situation, and I remember some people expressing criticism of the actions of the campus as a whole, even if they were still curious. I'm a little surprised by the post above where the "flame artist" says that he didn't realize the hurt he was inflicting--maybe the result of poor socialization.

Also, I am sure this has become obvious to you by now, but writing an online blog is quite a different matter from writing a weekly column in a newspaper. Receiving your inspiration for your blog from this Tv show where the main character never experienced any of this sort of backlash, you couldn't have expected the consequences you experienced.

Good luck.

Re: Reminiscence

lastwordlulz — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:31:22 -0000

guess some1 doesnt have "appetite" anymoar...lol

Re: Reminiscence

lastposterwins — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:27:47 -0000

Looks like h8ers always get teh last word...

Re: Reminiscence

Really, though? — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:25:54 -0000

Also, people might decide to have blogs because they're talented and want to share that talent, or they want to express themselves. It doesn't have to be because they didn't get attention...what kind of analysis is that?

Re: Reminiscence

Really, though? — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:24:10 -0000

Cindy Loo, who the hell are YOU to be making these idiotic comments but criticizing Lena for her "stupidity"? Since the "best and the brightest" go to Harvard I would hope they'd be more open minded about things like this. Especially in college! People have sex, get over it.

Re: Reminiscence

ea — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 05:41:25 -0000

Wow, reading your comments make me incredibly glad that I don't know you in real life. Not only are you incredibly misguided on what feminism really is but you are also homophobic. If you don't believe that you are afraid of homosexuals, then you must be highly prejudiced and that is very disheartening.

Re: Reminiscence

m. — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:26:49 -0000

I'd just like to thank you for writing this blog. You truly are an inspiration to college women everywhere.

Re: Reminiscence

Yujin Vasquez — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:34:49 -0000

Lena,

I really dont know how to put this into words, But I will try.

"Words will always retain their power"

Your gifted and you should not be ashamed of it. Keep writing real posts, thats what makes this blog so unique compared to others.

Re: Reminiscence

jok2103 — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:16:42 -0000

Lena,
I've been reading your blog on and off since I was a freshman in college (currently a senior, and I don't go to Harvard). On behalf of humanity (or at least the anonymous folks who have left you malicious comments), I would like to say I'm sorry.
I went through a rough time while attending college myself -- I won't go into the details, but I'll just say that if my baggage were floating out there in the world wide web for all to read, I don't think I could have survived. I still marvel that you have.
You claim that it is either your emotional strength or stupidity that keeps you blogging. Lena, I've never met you, but I have no doubt that the reason you continue to dare exert your voice is a testament to your strength. And if it's stupidity, well, then thank zeus for stupidity if it means we can have courage.
I hope you keep blogging and writing because it is not worth shutting up to please petty critics. But I hope you are more careful, that you keep your guard up. I hope you are wiser now than to expect "the best in people." The people rooting for you are not always leaving comments.
Life is short, and you have lived it more fully and freely than most would ever dare. That is enough to draw envy and spite from readers. Ignore them. They're losers.
I hope you keep on writing. I hope you get stronger every day. I hope you keep the happiness you desire and deserve.
This feel weird to say to a stranger, but I am very proud of you. Just though I'd let you know :)
On your side,
Anonymous

Re: Reminiscence

valeriereilly — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:40:47 -0000

Poor little darling. I don't get why people feel the need to blog? Maybe take a big long break. Or if you have the need, write under a psuedonym? You are too young to need to be living so out on a limb, inventing and forging and feeling so much pain for it. Just know what ever decision you make is the right one. You don't have to always be brave. You must take care of you.
Cheers, little friend.
Valerie

Re: Reminiscence

schizoblockhead — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:10:29 -0000

What's really disappointing is that people seem to automatically feel to need to attack Lena based on a simple blog post. I'm not saying that your actions agree with my personal morals, but who am I to impose my morality upon your actions?

Re: Reminiscence

Name — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:58:23 -0000

Dear Lena,

First, I think if maintaining a blog is therapeutic in some way for you, or if it serves as any kind of outlet, then that is great. I think you are bold in sharing your thoughts and opinions with other people.

I wouldn´t take anything any one has said about you or your actions personally, especially if they do not know you. In our daily lives, we try to give off an image that we think best represents ourselves, or who strive to be, and sometimes certain aspects rub people the wrong way. You might never know why; it could be one of those intangibles. Others project onto us who they think we are, based on their experiences and existing social norms. And we do the same to others. Your true friends would not judge you, and I hope you have at least one of those to provide you with honest feedback. After all, true friends stab you in the front, right?

You have great opportunities at Harvard to pursue your interests and talents, and I would focus on trying to make the most out of those while you can. You get to go to college once. Why not make the best of it?

I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming year.

Re: Reminiscence

TheKittyBearChronicles — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:19:54 -0000

Hang in there darling. Boston can be such a difficult and prudish town. Here's the thing, sex is great, and if that's your interest then good for you, write what you love, emotions, sex, carpet patterns, it's all about what gets you. Besides, it may seem like the end of the world now but there are so many people out there that will accept you 100% for who you are. I have a few friends who are sexologists and teach classes and were mercilessly judged for their interests and occupations but they're laughing now that they're happy and successful. It doesn't matter what other people think, just find the thing that makes you happy and hold onto that. And if you ever need a friend, I'm always around Boston. You should stop by the Savant Project in Mission Hill on Sunday nights, we host sex and drugs trivia and a whole lot of like minded people.

Re: Reminiscence

Sara Davidson — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 20:20:22 -0000

Lena,

Wow, I just found your blog, and wow. I can't believe the cruelty of some people. I sure disagree with a lot of your choices, but I cannot fathom the kind of person who would come here and attack you so viciously. Those people must have an awful lot of self hatred to direct such vitriol at another person. I wish you luck in rebuilding your life at Harvard, or failing that, getting the hell out of there, and starting a new one.

Re: Reminiscence

Zoe — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:55:28 -0000

"No one ever said you wouldn't get a job."

"If you hadn't done this, you wouldn't be at McKinsey today. You'd be clad in a pair of semen-soaked Spanx, doling out handjobs to a very different class of "clients."

I have poor reading skills?

Obviously, it wasn't a coincidence. I said as much above, but we've already established you're the one with poor reading skills. Just a matter curiosity - did you strike out with a girl or with a company?

Re: Reminiscence

Lena Chen — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:43:17 -0000

Thank you -- I'm glad what I wrote resonated in some way. I must admit that I feel light years away from my 19- or 20-year-old self now (the one who did most of the blogging on this site) but having this online chronicle of my college years is priceless, even with all the bullshit that comes with it.

Re: Reminiscence

Lena Chen — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:40:14 -0000

Thanks Elisa!

Re: Reminiscence

Elisa — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:49:27 -0000

Hi Lena,
I just started reading your blog, although I'd been hearing about it for years. I want to thank you so much for creating & maintaining this blog and hope you will continue to do so and that its readership will expand. Even its very existence is serving an extraordinarily valuable purpose, especially in the sexually conservative societies (the US being high on that list) that we all live in. I hope people will learn to appreciate their sexualities healthily, that "promiscuity" is just as acceptable as lifetime monogamy so long as they are respectful, honest decisions; that gender-unequal words like "slut" or "nympho" (sorry, I know you used it in your title) disappear or are used only jokingly and for both sexes; that sex stops being a way for us to demonstrate our personal worth, whether it be saving ourselves like commodities for someone or using it in "conquest" to fulfill emotional insecurities, but rather that it is a complex expression and fulfillment of our emotional and physical selves.
Anyway, I should go back to reading a few more of your posts, and I look forward to the updates and any books that you may end up writing. All the best to you & take care!
Best,
Elisa

Re: Reminiscence

Emily P — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:29:55 -0000

I'm so sorry to hear about how terribly your beautiful writing has affected your life. I actually remember a year or so back you gave me the confidence to become the sex columnist at William and Mary. Sadly, like you, I found out the backlash can be severe. I think the letters to the parents are the worst.
In the end I'm glad that I did it, and I hope you are too. You're a much more expressive and entertaining writer than I could be on the subject, and your strength should be applauded. Most people have no idea how horrible it is to be hated by a faceless mass, where you feel unable to defend yourself. I'm pretty sure my hate group is still up on Facebook, even though I've graduated. Don't let them stifle your jeu de vivre!

Re: Reminiscence

leeern — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:58:30 -0000

*hugs* from a stranger.
I don't know you personally but I just wanna hug you for what you've been through.
Life is never easy.

Re: Reminiscence

other elle — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:27:48 -0000

Lena, I found your blog this past fall and follow you on the Ch!cktionary. I read the entire thing in days. I think you are a wonderful, inspirational girl. There is an obvious light in you. I am in a similar place in my life and even though we have almost nothing in common but I never once felt like I couldn't relate to a thing you've said. I think it's important that you don't take the hateful comments to heart, because regardless of what you say, someone is not going to like it. The internet provides a blanket of anonymity that cowards will take advantage of.

It's cliche, but you cant please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Do what you need to do for yourself.

Re: Reminiscence

elliusbellius — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:40:14 -0000

Though I don't agree with everything you say and write, I find the voice in your words to be refreshingly beautiful. It's honest in the way that most people want to be and it's couragous despite the extremities of your situation. I applaud you for (more or less) consistantly documenting your tumultuous life. The way you express yourself is inspiring and I hope you continue to move forward. I've been reading your blog since the very beginning and despite being somewhat of a critic to your lifestyle, it has been interesting watching your transformation. I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you keep writing. :)

Re: Reminiscence

Amber Rhea — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 11:52:33 -0000

It's tough to comment here in the face of all these hateful comments, but I realize I should speak up and let you know how much I appreciate your writing, and how much I relate to a lot of what you say in this post. It makes me incredibly sad when I realize that we live in a world where far too many people think it's "common sense" for women not to talk about sex, and that it's not "normal" to write about your life, and that there are "consequences" for being sexual.

Just know that some of us think you are fucking awesome. Don't keep writing for those of us who think you rock; take care of yourself, as that is what's most important. But know we're out here, fighting the haterade too.